Long ago my husband's mom said "my kids have been difficult children" and in my 20 year old puny little brain I thought, "well if you were a good parent and followed through they wouldn't be." I'm glad my internal monologue stayed internal on that one because it came back to bite me in the butt- BIG TIME.
Turns out that its genetic. Why do I know this? Because many of the cousins on my husband's side have similar children (mostly the boys) and they aren't easy. They have ADHD, are bullheaded, push the limits of everyone and are opinionated from a very early age. I was a compliant people pleaser and I truly thought that every person aspires to be just like I was/am.
Keegan is a particularly challenging child. And he is wonderful! I frequently find myself thinking that people are probably judging me the way that I judged my first mother-in-law. Maybe if she had lived past 44 I would have grown to respect her more. Maybe she could have guided me in raising these "tough" kids.
Out of desperation I have been using essential oils on him (Jeddy's Blend of doTerra oils) in addition to his medication. I don't know if its the oils or time/maturity but I have seen minuscule and wonderful improvements. And honestly, I don't really care what is helping because it is.
Yesterday he came home from school with a little bag that said Mr. and Mrs. Smith. That is unusual. I opened it up and inside was a tootsie roll and a note. The note was a thank you from his teacher. She wrote that she was so happy that we had been such understanding and good parents to work with.
She said that Keegan is a special kid and that he is so lucky to have parents like us to guide him and be there for him. That we will make all the difference in the world for him. That was the thing I needed to renew my confidence as a parent.
So for everyone who judges me because my kid won't sit still in church, is impulsive, and reads below grade level. Maybe take a day to be with me and my child. You can see for yourself that through love and patience I have learned how to work with this little person. This little person who is so challenging and difficult AND who is so full of love and tenderness.