Teaching prenatal classes I see these women who come to the first class and are still in the mid to late 2nd trimester. They are still happy being pregnant and have dreams and visions of who this unborn child will be. They look cute with their bellies and the new fangled idea of maternity clothes which was not what I wore in the 90's. Then there is week six. They are miserable and tired- still excited but the reality that this baby needs to get out has hit. They want labor because it means they get their body back, can sleep on their tummies and won't have chronic heart burn. Yes, its scary but they are ready to move to the next stage.
I believe that this is also what adolescents is about. You love this child and are happy to help and protect him/her. You do everything you can to help them grow and develop into the person you want them to be and then puberty hits. With all the emotions and pushing away. They are sweet and cute one minute and you think "oh I don't ever want them to go away to college" and the next minute they are bitchy and act like you have six eyes and you would pack their bags for them in a heart beat. You start getting college brochures and you look for the one that is the furthest from your location that you can still afford. Just like labor is necessary to move that baby to a new time in life, adolescents is necessary to make you want to have them move out. The hope is that once you get to the new phase you will find an adult whom you can talk to on a different level. One who doesn't make you feel like you are stupid and inept. One who you might like to invite to Sunday dinner.
Just like labor to get through teens you need breathing techniques, support systems and maybe even drugs! (for the parents, not the kids)
Kate moved out about 10 days ago. She is living with a friend (I don't much care for this girl but I also can't say much since they are 19). I guess you can say moved out but she hasn't taken much of her stuff. Some clothes and a bulletin board but that is it. I imagine she will be a boomerang child.
So how do I feel about it. I wish things had been a bit different. I would have pushed for the dorms when she went to college last fall. I didn't because they were full and then the idea of not paying that sounded good to me. But then who knows maybe living with these crazy artistic friends isn't all that bad. They don't drink. My friend's daughter drank enough for alcohol poisoning which was bad enough until you remember she is diabetic. (yes, she is OK but now living back at home instead of the sorority)
And the great news is that as we move toward adulthood with one, another is in the midst of adolescents. Woo Hoo! I now understand what my dad meant when he said "it's like a walking hormone around this house!"
At least I have Keegan to keep me young. Someone who still thinks I walk on water and wants to snuggle.