Saturday, December 31, 2011

What's In a Dream

I don't dream a lot or rather I don't remember my dreams. I also don't sleep a lot and if I sleep in I tend to feel sick and lethargic all day. I'm not really a "short sleeper" because I do sleep a bit more than six hours a night and I don't have the other traits such as fast metabolism (darn) but I digress. My husband and kids are always telling me about their dreams which really is boring. Unless you were there, they don't make sense. I used to dread when my older two would start out on the drive to school with "last night in my dream" I don't know why that bothered me so much but it did.

So last night, I went to bed and woke up with my alarm at 6:00 AM. I decided that since it was really the last day of Christmas Vacation and I'd have to start up with the 7 AM carpool again next week that I'd stay in bed a bit longer. I woke up frequently because I'm not used to being in bed past 7 AM but then fell into a really deep sleep around 8:30. I was dreaming about all of us kids helping mom with some yard work and then for some reason I went inside a building I came around a corner only to see my dad standing there. He was my dad of maybe two years ago, not quite as sick and with just a mustache and no beard. He was wearing his red coat and had his cane. But he wasn't really using it. I walked over, which is funny because I would run if I could see him again. We hugged and I told him I missed him. I told him I wanted him to come back. But I never said any of those things, they were just assumed. Then he said "Heaven is just like Jesus said it would be." He turned and walked away. I woke up and was really happy for a moment and then really sad. But sad in a "I miss him so much, but know he's better off" kind of sad.

A few of my friends on FB say is was a vision or it was really him. I don't know. I'd like to think it was. I do believe there is more to life than this but I don't know exactly what I believe. I am a cradle Catholic so I grew up with the belief in heaven and God and Jesus but sometimes I question it. Well, often I question it. Dad had a near death experience in 1984 and he said he was not afraid of death. He said he's never experienced such peace in all his life. For that, I am happy. I want him to be safe, happy and at peace.

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